look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i now understand why vodka
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