so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize