He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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