i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize