you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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