dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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