I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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