We're like a lot better than the average bears
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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