You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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