My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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