i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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