There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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