i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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