Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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