How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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