i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize