And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The ass gains better be worth it
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