i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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