remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he puts the penis in happiness.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize