I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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