feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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