Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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