He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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