is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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