every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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