Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm always down for nudity.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize