Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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