Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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