I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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