I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
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Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize