he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize