I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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