the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize