i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize