I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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