I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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