I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
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He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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