why didn't you poke me back
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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