we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize