So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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