even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize