Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You ate ashes out of my bong
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize