I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize