Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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