Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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