Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
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NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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