Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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