ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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