big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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