After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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